Today was Part 2 of my coupon caper. The save.ca coupons I ordered online last week (Day 201, to be exact) arrived today.
So off I went to the grocery store, Scotch tape dispenser in hand. My plan was to attach each coupon to the item it discounted so the next person would get some surprise savings.
I found the dog food and the diapers pretty quickly, but felt a little funny taping the coupon right on the package.
On the one hand, it pretty much guaranteed the next person picking it up would get a discount. On the other, what if the store manager happened by and considered my actions “defacing” store property? Hmmm. I compromised and tried to tape each coupon to a section of the package with little or no writing on it. Hey, best I could come up with under pressure.
I did think I was busted when I got to the tampon aisle. There was a stocky shelf stocker (I do amuse myself) working away on the opposite side of the aisle.
I scanned the shelves looking for the exact brand and size specified on the coupon (Tampax Silky 36 units) but tried to conceal the tape dispenser in my pocket. Lurking in front of the “feminine protection” shelves is embarrassing enough without getting caught taping a piece of paper to a random package.
I waited till another customer posed a question to the stocky shelf stocker (hey, does this make me a shelf stalker … okay, I’ll stop now). While the customer conveniently caused a distraction, I slipped my hand in my pocket, secretly pulled off some tape as quietly as possible and stuck it to the Tampax box and scurried off the other way. Very close call. Too close.
Next up was the whole-wheat pasta (for the fibre-conscious single mom I was virtually couponing for).
I spotted the brand (Catelli) but there was a man in a bomber jacket and thick thatch of black hair who was taking forever to decide between linguini and rigatoni. “Get both!!!” I felt like screaming at him, “one for a rainy pasta-less day!” But I refrained.
I was tempted to just hand him the coupon since he seemed to be checking out the Catelli brand, but was worried he’d get the wrong idea.
It’s been a while since I was single and times may have changed. Grocery stores could very well be the new singles hangouts, for all I know. Whispering, “excuse me, would you like this pasta coupon?” might now be code for “your place or mine?”
Patience again paid off, however, the bomber-jacket man moved along and I attached the coupon.
He might have seen me though, because he drifted back to the whole-wheat section, but no matter, I had places to go, coupons to distribute.
My last two were for the cereal aisle. And, except for one so-ridiculously-out-of-reach-I-almost-strained-a-back-muscle-trying-to-grab-it-before-I-spotted-the-same-brand-on-a-lower-shelf box, all went smoothly.
Phew. Stealth good deeds ain’t for sissies….
P.S. Here’s a stunning acappella version of “I’ll Be” — no coupon required! (Credit laurenistheshaz via YouTube). Enjoy!