Remember that Seinfeld episode where Elaine ends up in a movie theatre restroom with no toilet paper, so she asks the woman in the next stall for some but she refuses, claiming she “can’t spare a square”?
Well, replace the movie theatre with Tim Hortons and the mystery woman with moi, and you’ll have the scenario I found myself in today.
I don’t know if it means I spend too much time at Timmies (or watch too many Seinfeld reruns), but when I heard the woman come in, shut the stall door then exclaim, “Oh no!” I had a feeling what was coming next. (Although, if it were me, I think I would have regrouped and moved to the next open stall to avoid an “I’ll even take one-ply” fiasco, but who knows.)
Without missing a beat, my unseen neighbour called out, “Excuse me! Could you please hand me some toilet paper!”
Now, this normally would have been a no-brainer … just pull out a whole roll and hand it to the paperless stranger. Unfortunately, this Timmies bathroom didn’t use rolls, but instead had those flimsy sheet dispensers stuck to the wall. So even though I called out, “Sure!”, the woman was probably wondering why I was taking so long as I fumbled with the contraption to pull out a handful of TP.
Not an easy task … what exactly is the appropriate amount in such a situation? In the heat of the moment (and it did start to get unbearably hot in there) I decided to err on the side of overcompensation and hauled out a wad of paper that could’ve supplied a family of four.
She thanked me and I quickly washed up and bolted out … hoping I hadn’t emptied a second dispenser of “spare squares”….