Sleep, glorious sleep. You don’t truly appreciate it until it escapes your grasp.
I fell and broke my wrist back on September 25 (I’ll always remember the date because it’s my wedding anniversary), and I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since.
And I am not a Margaret Thatcher type who only needs 4-5 hours of shut-eye. I function best on at least 9 hours. I wish that weren’t the case. Those are lots of hours to be lying unconscious in the dark … if I’m lucky, that is.
That’s like, a full work day! My brain needs a full shift at the dream factory — with overtime — just to be able to string a sentence together come morning.
Why am I sharing this? Because I realized this morning that the dark emotions I’ve been feeling lately aren’t tied to life events at all, but that I’m just tired… hence grouchy and not fun to be around. (Just ask my husband.)
The alarm went off this morning by mistake (a morning when I didn’t have to get up at the crack of dawn) and I had a mild meltdown, feeling ripped off because I had finally gotten to sleep at 5 a.m. after being up twice earlier with an achey, uncomfortable arm and mind spinning with dark thoughts.
But then the radio informed me that it was 15 C this morning, going down to 8 C this afternoon. That’s practically beach weather in the Great White North! I used to be a big walker but have been so afraid of falling again that I’ve done as little as possible lately. But 15 C??? Action needed to be taken. So I pulled on some clothes and raced outside for a half-hour walk.
If that rude alarm hadn’t gone off, I might not have been up before the temperature plunged, I realized. About half-way down the block, I looked up to the black clouds overhead and said a silent prayer of thanks for the opportunity to feel the warm breeze on my face so late in November.
And — I’m not making this up — I suddenly felt this warmth behind me and looked back and saw the sun had burst through the clouds to shine a blazing, warm ray of sunshine on me. I burst into tears. It felt like God was saying, “I’ve got your back, kid, hang in there.”
Sounds crazy, right? Crazy beautiful to me.
It helped remind me that the pain I was still feeling in my wrist and hand was so puny in the grand scheme of things.
In fact, moments before my fall — on a busy city street amid a throng of Toronto Blue Jays fans — a thought overtook my brain that said, “Slow down. Things can change in an instant.” So I did slow down. And when I got to the curb and started crossing the street, a huge black SUV came screeching around the corner, almost wiping out a whole group of us.
I did fall right after that but I realized almost immediately that if I hadn’t slowed down moments before, things could’ve turned out so much worse.
A good deed I’ve been meaning to share ever since was the kind lady who bent down beside me right after I fell and asked if I’d like her to get some ice from the restaurant behind us. And she did. She came back with a big white cloth napkin full of ice, which was a godsend when the shock started to wear off and the pain in my wrist set in.
I hope I never forget that and if I see someone in a similar situation, I’ll at least know one way I can possibly help.
Okay, enough rambling, lol… my vow is to keep sharing the good deeds of others (while continuing to do what I can)… oh, and to find a way to get some zzzz’s… and be less grouchy. 🙂
Thanks for listening. Have a lovely day!
Here’s a lovely song for you (it’s in Spanish, called “Glorious”).